Fault Line

1982
One of four, one of two
A twin, split from the start
The fault-line at his heart

Words were thrown at him
He’ll be this or that won’t he
The caring one, the kind one
The bright like his Dad one
Who follows the steps
Laid under his feet
He steps over or on
The barriers he meets
And rises in spirals
With fleeting contentment
The wishes go with him
And with it resentment

The fault line grows

There’s a room inside his head
Where the lust and the grit and the dirt lies
Where the fucking and the living and the truth lies
And is secret

The eyes that would judge it
Are the eyes that made him
That laid the path he followed
That gave the lies he swallowed
And laid the prizes at his feet
That had the power to blind him

The fault line grows

I took a false oath 
that was pushed down my throat
I didn’t choke
I swallowed with a smile

Now I fizz and I split without knowing
I seek the lies in lovers
Can’t see the truth in others
afraid to meet their eyes
I seek their false oaths

The fault line grows

Now I see it
I see I am grit 
I am dirt
Beautiful dirt
I am loving and lusting and crying
And my room is lit
for the first time
And I have lied 
for the last time
And the light flicks the walls
Shows the writing of the years
I have lived inside
I am broken open		I am open
							
7/11/20

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